We’re here to sing the praises of restaurants, (in two-part harmony, one playlist at a time), and to consider the impact of music in the dining rooms where we enact our culinary and social rituals. It is at these tables and in these rooms that we have our first dates, that we grow our friendships and intimacy, that we find connection and comfort after a trying day, or that we celebrate life’s milestones. The music we listen to in dining rooms is the soundtrack of our lives and our memories can be repeated in the comfort of our own homes every time we push play.

In a dining room we hope to bask in a shared community experience. Often we find it hard to define exactly what it is that makes us feel welcome and comfortable, invigorated and curious, and restaurateurs work hard to create spaces that we wish to return to time and time again. Music plays an often-unnoticed part in this process, so let’s consider the importance of music choice and what that choice says about the restaurants and restaurateurs we love.

In the late 90s when we were still dependent on CDs, Frank Heaney, restaurant manager and co-owner of Melbourne’s celebrated est est est, had a truly eclectic collection and in one seating he could play from 10,000 Maniacs’ MTV Unplugged, to Britten and Richter playing Mozart’s Sonata for Two Pianos in D Major, and finish up with Massive Attack’s Mezzanine and a bit of Emmylou Harris. The curious and intellectual nature of Frank’s taste was also reflected in the curation of his massive and beautiful wine list, and he was just as lost in his music as he was in the aroma of a freshly pulled cork. Curation, then, is a particular love that true restaurateurs apply to their beverage list, their art choices and their playlists.

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But music is not just for the diners; the restaurant team are lifted and invigorated by the music they work to. Music elevates mood and performance, but hopefully not to the point that a waiter is so lost in the musical moment that they can’t see the desperately thirsty expression on your face. There are people who feel that the best restaurant music is totally unobtrusive and at London’s iconic Sugar Club in Soho no music was played, which allowed the clink and hum of dining to create an elegant mood. It takes great self-confidence to allow your guests to take the lead on a dinner’s mood and there needs to be a charismatic host who is great at tweaking the lighting and raising the energy of a room if it falls a little flat. That’s when music fills in the pregnant pause in a conversation.

Restaurant front-of-house staff have always walked the knife edge of intrusion and we often remind our teams that guests have come to our places to see one another, not to be constantly interrupted or to hear the life story of their server. Music, too, must walk that line. About 70 decibels is the prescribed level for a dining room, and the music should entertain us, but not get in the way of allowing us to hear our friends or clients. However, what motivates a human to come out to dine is deeply individual and there are also many folks who love to engage with, and be entertained by, the entire restaurant experience.

We apparently are more likely to order sweet food if we’re hearing high-pitched music, while lower tones stimulate a bitter-food response. The energy of music encourages us to linger or to gobble and dash, and while emotionally complex yet sad music may make an empath feel uplifted, the same tune will inspire another diner to sob into a dirty martini. How can restaurateurs get it right, considering the breadth of personalities that walk in the door?

Quite a few restaurants now pay musicians to create the transformational cool that makes their musical taste the envy of the restaurant’s guests. I confess that I am bored when I am in a dining room where I am accompanied by repetitive music that I don’t recognise as, for me, there is a delight in recognition and I like to tap my toes under the table. The 90s through 00s was a bad time for me when I had to work to the comparative restriction of only a few CDs – Nightmares on Wax, the Buena Vista Social Club and Fat Freddy’s Drop could be on constant repeat for months.

Our musical worlds opened with Pandora and Spotify, but Spotify also has relatively narrow algorithms and restaurateurs must be constantly curious in order to stay fresh and interesting. It’s important that a restaurant with an authentic and complex menu, an intelligent beverage list and a carefully trained team, should play music that is in context with the overall mood of the restaurant.

The soundscape of a dinner has rhythm and mood that matches the behaviour of its guests. As people arrive and sit we are full of anticipation, alert and excited. We sit up and lean into one another, keen to hear and share news. Conversation will ebb and flow, follow a gamut of emotions, be humorous or filled with pathos, we will have turns to talk and to listen. As courses come and go, the table dissolves into a slightly shambolic state. The order morphs into a comfortable debris of crumbs, spilt sauce and a clutter of half-filled glasses. As the plates and glasses empty, the guests fill up and sit back into their chairs, appetites replete. We are sated in every sense and we relax. At this stage, some will want to dance while others prefer to lounge. It may be cocktail o’clock or time for a quiet digestif. In the words of JJ Cale, “After midnight, we’re gonna let it all hang out.” Good music choices mirror these behaviours and, as you see, they are deeply personal.

So, maybe our best playlists show the quirky personality of the host, or maybe they create a personality where it may be lacking. I’m a bit of an 80s diva and my playlists reflect my love of punk and opera. Dining-room soundscapes vary in tempo and taste and they allow for the choice of the masses, but they can’t be homogenous. Like a good wine list, they allow the audience the comfort and security of the known and anticipated, but they also take you on a journey of discovery and novelty.

What does this mean for you next time you are hosting a dinner party and you’re feeling a bit nervous? Spend some time making a playlist of your favourite songs. Add a few unpredictable tracks to shake up the guests. Choose a mood: are you feeling languid and seductive, or excitable and wanting to dance on the table? Your guests are coming to see you and it is truly generous to show them who you are and what you really love. To help, here are a few dinner playlists created by some Kiwi ‘musicophile-restaurateurs ‘ (what a mouthful, in every sense of the word).

Here are some playlists by legendary New Zealand DJ Christopher Tubbs. In the early days of Caravan restaurant in Exmouth market, Chris used to play to a packed room on a Saturday night. Propped up at the end of the bar he would nurture guests through their dinner and into the evening with incredible tunes. These nights at Exmouth market became legendary on the music scene and were a real draw. The music Chris played complemented what we were trying to achieve so well. We are, first and foremost, a food spot with serious diners. Later into the night, we kept the diners there and welcomed late-night drinkers who were seeking a great time. I look back on those days with such fondness and with memories of hard work and a sore head.

Christopher Tubbs played a special residency for Caravan Exmouth between 2010-2013 (six weeks during each summer). It was wonderful: the doors and windows would be flung open and people would spill out into the street once they’d eaten. It was a very Balearic, Mediterranean sound… very eclectic. Some of the staff used to call Christopher the maitre DJ because people would come up and talk to him when they arrived and he would put long records on and go and talk to people at the tables. It turned into a real ‘thing’. Alexander McQueen, Gillian Anderson and Zane Lowe could be spotted on some of those long hot evenings… It was very special. Christopher also recorded these mixes for us during those years, which took on a life of their own. They still sound incredible now.

Christopher, in those days, was a record producer, a contributor to Monocle Radio, a music director for Elite Models, an occasional BBC 6 Music resident and the front man for the AllSaints basement sessions (an online live music platform at the time). These days Christopher is one of New Zealand’s best-known DJs, makes music with Eden Burns for Germany’s Public Possession record label, helps run his family boutique importing and publishing company and is co-founder of the luxury home-fragrance brand Hivern.

This is our our Dinner Hip/Funk playlist. It has been made up over hours and hours, weeks of testing and tweaking, with the first half building up slowly to more up-tempo hip hop mostly from the late 90s. When a night is particularly busy I signal to our restaurant manager with a waved finger which she understands to be ‘Skip ahead to Ludacris’ ‘Area Codes’’ to get the vibe up.